day of dan :: memoirs of an invisible dan » swine flu http://blog.dayofdan.com (or, what the hell am I going to write a book about?) Thu, 31 Dec 2009 16:47:17 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1 Attack of the killer pigs… http://blog.dayofdan.com/2009/07/17/attack-of-the-killer-pigs/ http://blog.dayofdan.com/2009/07/17/attack-of-the-killer-pigs/#comments Fri, 17 Jul 2009 22:54:14 +0000 dan http://blog.dayofdan.com/?p=72 Right, so there I was minding my own business when I thought “I know, I’ll go and have a look at NHS Direct’s lovely new Swine Flu symptom checker. So off I toddle onto the first screen…

nhsdirect_ss1

So, being an honest chap and having a bit of a sniffle, I selected “Yes”. Of course I always have fatigue so that’s just a given. On to the next screen…

nhsdirect_ss2

Okay, so now it’s getting a bit daft. A quick glance at my fingernails reveals they’re still the same colour they’ve always been and nothing else is applicable. I select “No”, and move on…

nhsdirect_ss3

Well, it’s Friday afternoon at 4pm. It’s been a long day so yes, I am unusually drowsy and extremely confused. I want to go home and fall on the sofa for a bit. Without hesitation, I select “Yes” and to my horror…

nhsdirect_ss4

Now what the bloody hell kind of scaremongering do you call that? It might as well have just said “Don’t bother calling 999, you’re going to die. Please don’t make a mess.”

Anyway, joke aside flu-fans, don’t call 999 if you’ve got Swine Flu, call your GP, the dedicated flu line or indeed NHS Direct themselves.

So there we have it, I thought I was just a bit tired after a long week at work but apparently that’s not the case. I’ve caught the Pig Flu and I’m going to die a sniffly death.

RED MEANS DEAD, PEOPLE.

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