So last week, I was very much looking forward to Question Time. Not often I can say that, but still, I was quite interested to see how Nick Griffin would appear when confronted by his peers and a decent cross-section of the british public. I’m sorry to say I was disappointed.

First off, I strongly believe the BBC were right to invite and let him appear on Question Time. Over a million people voted for the BNP and it’s in the name of both common sense and democracy to allow him a voice. The quote, “I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it” is very apt here. I think we all hoped he’d use his voice to fall over everywhere.

The BBC failed on two accounts, firstly Question Time became all about the ratings and secondly, they failed to get a diverse audience. The brief must surely have been, “Invite as many people who hate him as possible, and let’s show him up as much as possible. No holds barred.” I think they achieved their aim, Question Time viewing figures quadrupled and he was effectively interrupted wherever possible. This however was not what we wanted.

I, and the majority of the public, wanted him to trip himself up. We wanted to hear his agenda, we wanted everyone to hear his agenda. I know we can’t trust the public to vote out John and Edward on X Factor, but I’m sure they can be trusted to spot a racist organisation trying to pass itself off as mainstream.

The show however, continued to be nothing more than an excuse to vent some anger at the self proclaimed, “Most hated man in Britain”. It certainly didn’t disappoint on that front. He was booed, abused and interrupted constantly in a show that seemed to focus entirely on him, missing the key points of immigration and more topical subjects like the postal strike. Fortunately, some bright audience member managed to get a question in on Jan Moir. Jan Moir and Nick Griffin in the same show? It’s like christmas come early.

This treatment of course caused Mr Griffin to complain about having to face a lynch mob and giving more publicity to a party that could have had the first nail in it’s coffin by now. It won’t cause BNP supporters to jump ship, far from it, it’ll cause them to rally around their portly leader.

On the plus side, he certainly won’t have gained any supporters. When he was allowed to speak, he came across as an ignorant, uninformed, homophobic, downtrodden man. His nervous laughter was the starter, his poor arguments the main course and his catty remarks the dessert. Striking out at Jack Straw’s family history will have done him no favours, his views on homosexuality are about 25 years out of date and his attempts at distancing himself from the KKK and Hitler will have fallen on deaf ears, though I will point out that even Hitler, the biggest bastard in history, could manage public speaking.

The stars of the show were, unpredictably, the two female panelists. Baroness Warsi managed to make the Conservatives look in touch with reality, and Bonnie Greer, the only non-politician, came across as articulate, sensible and extremely well informed. She’d done her research, and seriously put the others to shame.

Altogether, it was nothing more than entertainment when it could have been much more, but the evening was redeemed by a busy and funny time on Twitter. With an estimated 40,000 tweets with the hashtag #bbcqt (15 of which were mine) it was a far more active and diverse discussion than Question Time could ever have been.

Shame I can’t say the same about the BBC’s Have Your Say site where 90% of the posts began with “I’m not a racist, but…” – it’s like when I start a sentence with “I don’t think you’re being unreasonable, but…” – well I do think you’re being unreasonable, I’m just being polite.

I’m not against it, this is for once not a complete rant. Got me thinking though, could any of these be used?

1. The entire population of France. Surely this could firstly cut down the smell and secondly power most of the third world for pretty much eternity.
2. Michelle McManus could certainly power the Isle of Man.
3. Ferrets, and people who own them as pets.
4. Hippy activists, put your money where your mouth is and sacrifice yourself instead of a tree.
5. Any Big Brother contestant that didn’t win, and even then the issue of burning the winner is debatable. This would certainly help regain it’s lost appeal.
6. Jan Moir. Ha, I went topical. Charlie Brooker and Stephen Fry deserve the honour of preparing her for fuel.
7. All tobacco related products. As a smoker who wants to quit before 30, and bearing in mind this would take 2 years to be approved, I would welcome the idea. Plus, help create some extra revenue for the power plants by creating some kind of Smoker’s Mecca / theme park.
8. Beard hair from anyone that isn’t Santa Claus or a captain of a ship.
9. Any food product labelled as “Organic” – it’s not big, and it’s not clever.
10. The entire works of J.K. Rowling, once the last film has made it to DVD and everyone has lost interest.

None of these are too big an ask, maybe we should all think outside the box like our dear Swedish cousins.

It seems we’re almost hitting Paedofinder General territory these days when it comes to naming and shaming celebrities for mistakes they make. Let’s hunt them down, destroy them and make it seem like we’re everyone’s saviour.

Can we please not turn everyone newspaper or news website into the Daily Fail?

Anton du Beke is no more a racist than Jade Goody was. Sure, there’s no denying he’s a twat, and Jade Goody was a poorly educated muppet, but they aren’t racists and shouldn’t be vilified for it.

I was fairly glad to see the lord of the dance, Bruce Forsyth, offer a sensible opinion of the events. Sadly though it’s a well known fact that anyone born before 1940 is slightly racist so i’m pretty sure his comments won’t be taken very seriously, much like most of their drivel.

Mr Anton has however, been outdone in the twat factor by musical cock Harry Connick Jr. who’s decided he’s the voice of all that is holy and righteous in the world today. His quote after the Australian TV “Blackface” incident:

“I just want to say, on behalf of my country, I know it was done humorously, but we’ve spent so much time trying to not make black people look like buffoons, that when we see something like that we take it really to heart.”

I’m fairly sure no one else gave a flying fuck until you decided you wanted some self-publicity. It was a multicultural group doing some fairly crap comedy. That’s it. You’ll get over it, no one else noticed.

Who needs the BNP when you’ve got unnecessary media outrage doing their work for them?

It was agreed the last five minutes was all we would be able to handle, so we sucked it up, switched it on and prepared ourselves. We weren’t quite expecting what we saw.

Yes, the outcome was pretty obvious, that gay bloke won. What worried us was the incident with Tinkerbell. Having your dog brought out in a Louis Vuitton handbag and asked to provide an opinion on the three (un)lucky finalists is quite odd, but finishing the segment with the line, “Thanks Tinks, I really value your opinion” in a perfectly serious manner, makes me believe she’s too far gone for help and should really be put down. With or without the dog.

The conundrum is this, is Paris Hilton possibly the most pure example of a celebritard the world has ever seen, or is this all an act, making her an absolute media-genius?

That’s hot, I love it.